Even though you wouldn't know it, I've been two-timing you my faithful followers (all three of you). I've been writing posts behind your back and not publishing them. Why, you ask? Because I've been trying to work through some feelings not for public consumption. And, I think I have worked through them...for now.
So the long and short of it is: Sometimes I need to write out things that I'm feeling because expressing them in any form makes me feel better. But, on that same note, a lot of the time I want to keep them private because somewhere down the line they could end up hurting or embarrassing me or someone that I care about.
So, it's not you, it's me. :)
But, always know that if there is an opinion to be expressed about something stupid in current affairs, I'm your Gal Friday. And, I may from time to time let a bit of my personal side show, but only if I know that the only person I'll be affecting is me.
So for right now, I'll leave you with that. Don't mean to leave you hanging on what's going on, but that's how I roll. Also, this should be a reminder to myself to log out of Blogger when I'm done. Now that's food for thought...duh. Knowledge, not wisdom my fair friends. But, I'm working on it.
Hugs and kisses!
Showing posts with label Personality Quirks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Personality Quirks. Show all posts
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Thursday, January 29, 2009
25 Things
This was a little something on Facebook that I filled out this morning. It was 25 random things about me, my likes, dislikes, fears, dreams, etc. I just thought it would give you a little peek into my psyche. Enter if you dare...
1. I love my family & friends.
2. I hate conflict but love to argue.
3. I love, love, love music, especially classic rock.
4. I seriously think I was born in the wrong decade, I should have been a teenager/young adult in the 70's.
5. I am in love with Jimmy Page (Jimmy Page in the '70s, not today). :) See above.
6. I am embarrassed I just said #5 "out loud".
7. My favorite thing to do is country cruise, drink beer, and listen to tunes.
8. I am really worried about my Grandma right now.
9. I worry that I'm not a very good mom. I really don't know what I'm doing.
10. I am fiercely protective of my daughter and will maim anyone who tries to hurt her.
11. I dream about being the lead singer in a rock band. Yup, embarrassed again.
12. I still want to be a d.j. at a rock station.
13. My father and I butted heads regularly when I was a teenager, but I've realized I become more like him every day, and I always loved him.
14. I often wonder if there is such a thing as a soul mate.
15. I love to read.
16. Jim Morrison is my idol.
17. I hated breast feeding with a passion but would do it again for my child (Wow, that was out of left field, even for me).
18. I am very moody.
19. I am afraid of not living anymore, being dead. It actually keeps me up at night and terrifies me to my very core.
20. I can't turn off my mind at night to sleep.
21. I slept with my baby security blanket until I graduated from college.
22. I know I'm weird and different but really don't give a shit what anyone thinks.
23. I was in 7th grade when I realized #22. It was life changing.
24. But, I can get my feelings hurt easily too.
25. I love my eyes and am glad that my daughter has them too.
1. I love my family & friends.
2. I hate conflict but love to argue.
3. I love, love, love music, especially classic rock.
4. I seriously think I was born in the wrong decade, I should have been a teenager/young adult in the 70's.
5. I am in love with Jimmy Page (Jimmy Page in the '70s, not today). :) See above.
6. I am embarrassed I just said #5 "out loud".
7. My favorite thing to do is country cruise, drink beer, and listen to tunes.
8. I am really worried about my Grandma right now.
9. I worry that I'm not a very good mom. I really don't know what I'm doing.
10. I am fiercely protective of my daughter and will maim anyone who tries to hurt her.
11. I dream about being the lead singer in a rock band. Yup, embarrassed again.
12. I still want to be a d.j. at a rock station.
13. My father and I butted heads regularly when I was a teenager, but I've realized I become more like him every day, and I always loved him.
14. I often wonder if there is such a thing as a soul mate.
15. I love to read.
16. Jim Morrison is my idol.
17. I hated breast feeding with a passion but would do it again for my child (Wow, that was out of left field, even for me).
18. I am very moody.
19. I am afraid of not living anymore, being dead. It actually keeps me up at night and terrifies me to my very core.
20. I can't turn off my mind at night to sleep.
21. I slept with my baby security blanket until I graduated from college.
22. I know I'm weird and different but really don't give a shit what anyone thinks.
23. I was in 7th grade when I realized #22. It was life changing.
24. But, I can get my feelings hurt easily too.
25. I love my eyes and am glad that my daughter has them too.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Jennie's Addiction
I am an addict. Not to any chemical substance, nothing like that. I'm an addict to a series of books that I only recently became aware of. But, I'll begin with a little background first.
When it comes to music, movies, and books, I jump into things wholeheartedly that I love. I always have. When I was younger, I would watch certain movies over and over, read books 2, 3, or more times, listen to a song, rewind the tape, and listen to it again. I've seen the movie "Rocky" more than 30 times, read the Sweet Valley High series through more than once (some books many times), heard "Light My Fire" thousands of times. Anyone who knows me a little knows how much I love Jim Morrison. Besides owning many t-shirts bearing his face, I have every Doors cd, posters, videos, numerous books (that I've read over and over), basically whatever I could get my hands on. I even took a graduation photo with all my Doors stuff. Obsession is probably what it would have been called. I called it a hobby. But, again, that's a different story for another time. Long story short, I was gung-ho. It's how I am.
So that leads me to my latest addiction, the "Twilight" series. For Christmas my sister gave me the novel "Twilight". When I first opened the gift, I was a little curious. If I'd heard about the book, it wasn't registering with me. She explained that it was the novel that teenage girls were going nuts for, that the movie they had just released about it had girls lining up hours beforehand to see it. She had never read it, but one of her students had, and she had told her it was a love story between a girl and a vampire. I was intrigued.
I started reading it a few days afterward. I started it like any other book I had ever read, reading fast. I've always been a fast reader (I think it has to do with the limited patience I have, which I talked about earlier), but I soon was reading faster than I had read any previous book, scanning the page rapidly, then turning the pages quickly. I would sometimes read things in too much of a hurry because I would get confused at certain parts and have to turn the pages backwards and start rereading to figure out the characters' situation.
I would start reading when I would put my daughter to bed, which would only give me about an hour and a half. Then, I would have to force myself to close the book and go to bed. I would be anxious the next day, waiting until I could start reading again. But, I had a new feeling of anxiousness reading this book that I'd never felt before. I didn't want to the story to end. Rationally, I knew it didn't end with that first book, anyhow. There were 4 books in the series, but I didn't have them. Without going into too much detail (Ha!), I finally procured the last 3 novels of the series. I finished the second book in one day. While waiting for the final 2 to arrive in the mail (the books I talked about in a previous post), I decided to reread the 1st novel. My husband thought I was nuts, but I needed to nurse the addiction while I waited. I also wanted to reread it slower in case I missed anything the first time (which I did). Then, before starting the 3rd, I reread a few of the final chapters in the 2nd one. I'm now more than halfway through the 3rd installment, dreading finishing it but anxious to get to the final novel.
There is a reason why I dread finishing this series. I'm in love with the story of the 2 main characters, and I don't want it to end. I've always been a sucker for a love story, even the most unhappy ones (i.e. Romeo and Juliet), but this one is different in a way that I can't put my finger on. There is something about the love of Edward and Bella that has me totally enraptured. I know when I finish the last novel, I'll start the 2nd one again and go through the series once more. And, in time, I know I'll read all 4 books again. The obsession will rear its ugly head once again, but I don't care. I just love Edward and Bella's story, addiction be damned. And, reading is only a hobby anyway, right?
Right.
P.S. I had read somewhere that the author was working on a followup to the series in a retelling of "Twilight", only told in Edward's words. I looked into it, and it is true. But, before she could publish it, someone leaked out chapters on the internet. She was understandably upset by this and has put off completing Edward's novel indefinitely. This breaks my heart. My one saving grace about finishing this series (which is almost causing me physical pain) was that I would have something else to look forward to. And, now I don't know when or if that will even happen. I'll just have to hold out hope...and patience. Okay, just hope. At least the movie is coming out on DVD soon. That should be the fix I need for now.
And, in case you were wondering: Yes, I am this melodramatic all the time. I just don't usually express it outwardly, keeping it firmly entrenched in my mind. People find me a little less crazy that way. Aren't you the lucky ones? :)
When it comes to music, movies, and books, I jump into things wholeheartedly that I love. I always have. When I was younger, I would watch certain movies over and over, read books 2, 3, or more times, listen to a song, rewind the tape, and listen to it again. I've seen the movie "Rocky" more than 30 times, read the Sweet Valley High series through more than once (some books many times), heard "Light My Fire" thousands of times. Anyone who knows me a little knows how much I love Jim Morrison. Besides owning many t-shirts bearing his face, I have every Doors cd, posters, videos, numerous books (that I've read over and over), basically whatever I could get my hands on. I even took a graduation photo with all my Doors stuff. Obsession is probably what it would have been called. I called it a hobby. But, again, that's a different story for another time. Long story short, I was gung-ho. It's how I am.
So that leads me to my latest addiction, the "Twilight" series. For Christmas my sister gave me the novel "Twilight". When I first opened the gift, I was a little curious. If I'd heard about the book, it wasn't registering with me. She explained that it was the novel that teenage girls were going nuts for, that the movie they had just released about it had girls lining up hours beforehand to see it. She had never read it, but one of her students had, and she had told her it was a love story between a girl and a vampire. I was intrigued.
I started reading it a few days afterward. I started it like any other book I had ever read, reading fast. I've always been a fast reader (I think it has to do with the limited patience I have, which I talked about earlier), but I soon was reading faster than I had read any previous book, scanning the page rapidly, then turning the pages quickly. I would sometimes read things in too much of a hurry because I would get confused at certain parts and have to turn the pages backwards and start rereading to figure out the characters' situation.
I would start reading when I would put my daughter to bed, which would only give me about an hour and a half. Then, I would have to force myself to close the book and go to bed. I would be anxious the next day, waiting until I could start reading again. But, I had a new feeling of anxiousness reading this book that I'd never felt before. I didn't want to the story to end. Rationally, I knew it didn't end with that first book, anyhow. There were 4 books in the series, but I didn't have them. Without going into too much detail (Ha!), I finally procured the last 3 novels of the series. I finished the second book in one day. While waiting for the final 2 to arrive in the mail (the books I talked about in a previous post), I decided to reread the 1st novel. My husband thought I was nuts, but I needed to nurse the addiction while I waited. I also wanted to reread it slower in case I missed anything the first time (which I did). Then, before starting the 3rd, I reread a few of the final chapters in the 2nd one. I'm now more than halfway through the 3rd installment, dreading finishing it but anxious to get to the final novel.
There is a reason why I dread finishing this series. I'm in love with the story of the 2 main characters, and I don't want it to end. I've always been a sucker for a love story, even the most unhappy ones (i.e. Romeo and Juliet), but this one is different in a way that I can't put my finger on. There is something about the love of Edward and Bella that has me totally enraptured. I know when I finish the last novel, I'll start the 2nd one again and go through the series once more. And, in time, I know I'll read all 4 books again. The obsession will rear its ugly head once again, but I don't care. I just love Edward and Bella's story, addiction be damned. And, reading is only a hobby anyway, right?
Right.
P.S. I had read somewhere that the author was working on a followup to the series in a retelling of "Twilight", only told in Edward's words. I looked into it, and it is true. But, before she could publish it, someone leaked out chapters on the internet. She was understandably upset by this and has put off completing Edward's novel indefinitely. This breaks my heart. My one saving grace about finishing this series (which is almost causing me physical pain) was that I would have something else to look forward to. And, now I don't know when or if that will even happen. I'll just have to hold out hope...and patience. Okay, just hope. At least the movie is coming out on DVD soon. That should be the fix I need for now.
And, in case you were wondering: Yes, I am this melodramatic all the time. I just don't usually express it outwardly, keeping it firmly entrenched in my mind. People find me a little less crazy that way. Aren't you the lucky ones? :)
Monday, January 19, 2009
The Waiting is the Hardest Part
I am not a patient person. I never have been. I hate waiting on anything, people to return phone calls, answers to questions, someone to make up their mind, waiting for anything. I know in theory that patience is a virtue and all good things come to those who wait, but I am not able to abide by that philosophy. The anxiousness that takes over when I'm waiting on something that I want or need completely consumes me sometimes. I suppose that makes me childish in a way. But, then again, I've never claimed to be the most mature person I know. Quite the opposite. But, that's a different story.
I have gotten better over the years. When I was younger, my impatience was almost palpable. I would practically be bouncing off the walls if I was waiting on someone or something. As I've grown older, I've learned to keep myself in control. Well, that's a half-truth, at least now I make an attempt. There are times that I blow a proverbially gasket. I can only hold on for so long before something's gotta give. Sadly, easy frustration and a short temper accompany my limited patience. It's probably a psycho-analyst's perfect case study; an anger management trifecta.
It's a good thing, then, that I married my complete opposite in personality traits. My husband is the walking definition of calm. Nothing fazes him. He doesn't lose his cool very often. If he does I am usually the culprit. When I get worked up about something, I tend to drag whoever is around me into my emotional maelstrom. The nature of the beast, I suppose. But, conversely, he's been able to pass on some of his calmness to me. I've learned that it isn't the end of the world if something doesn't happen at the exact second that I want it to. Given enough time, things will get done. It's a mantra that I have to repeat often, but it's one I'm learning to accept.
Which is why I am (as much as I can) now patiently waiting for some books I ordered to arrive. I am doing quite well. I haven't called the company to find out where they are, why it's taken so long for them to arrive, why the delivery date keeps getting pushed back. I know they will show up eventually. But, that doesn't mean I don't check the delivery schedule every half hour or so to see if it's been updated. When I see that it hasn't, I resign myself and move on. But, their arrival will be in the front of my mind until I have them in my eager hands. *Sigh*
Baby steps. Rome wasn't built in a day...
I'm glad I wasn't around for that. I couldn't even begin to imagine.
I have gotten better over the years. When I was younger, my impatience was almost palpable. I would practically be bouncing off the walls if I was waiting on someone or something. As I've grown older, I've learned to keep myself in control. Well, that's a half-truth, at least now I make an attempt. There are times that I blow a proverbially gasket. I can only hold on for so long before something's gotta give. Sadly, easy frustration and a short temper accompany my limited patience. It's probably a psycho-analyst's perfect case study; an anger management trifecta.
It's a good thing, then, that I married my complete opposite in personality traits. My husband is the walking definition of calm. Nothing fazes him. He doesn't lose his cool very often. If he does I am usually the culprit. When I get worked up about something, I tend to drag whoever is around me into my emotional maelstrom. The nature of the beast, I suppose. But, conversely, he's been able to pass on some of his calmness to me. I've learned that it isn't the end of the world if something doesn't happen at the exact second that I want it to. Given enough time, things will get done. It's a mantra that I have to repeat often, but it's one I'm learning to accept.
Which is why I am (as much as I can) now patiently waiting for some books I ordered to arrive. I am doing quite well. I haven't called the company to find out where they are, why it's taken so long for them to arrive, why the delivery date keeps getting pushed back. I know they will show up eventually. But, that doesn't mean I don't check the delivery schedule every half hour or so to see if it's been updated. When I see that it hasn't, I resign myself and move on. But, their arrival will be in the front of my mind until I have them in my eager hands. *Sigh*
Baby steps. Rome wasn't built in a day...
I'm glad I wasn't around for that. I couldn't even begin to imagine.
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