Two Wrongs. No Rights.

In the office today. One of the residents stopped in with her three little boys. I would guess the ages to be around 3, 1 1/2 and a newborn. Her hands were full, literally, as she held her newborn the entire time. I had sent out a "pink slip" regarding their utilities, and she was wondering if it would be ok to pay the next week, as her fiancee would be getting paid that Tuesday. I told her that as long as a payment would be coming in, next Tuesday would be fine.

She had a few more questions, though. As she explained her situation, she tried to corral her older boys as they acted their age. Currently, they rent their house, but a root is working its way into their underground pipes and causing water problems. She questioned whether this should be their expense, or if it is the responsibility of the owner. She was unsure of the cost, but stated that they had already paid for a temporary fix, which is why they were behind on their bills. She knew a permanent repair would not be cheap. I told her that it would be the responsibility of the owner. She figured that, but said that the owner never returned her calls. We talked about this a bit more, then she brought up a house they had signed a contract for deed for. I already knew about this situation. The owner of the house, they are purchasing never, paid his utility bill, so we turned the water off. Somehow, the water was turned back on before winter, the pipes froze and broke, and then hundreds of thousands of gallons of water ran into the basement. This resulted in a huge water bill, which the owner is responsible for. But, he never told this couple that. And, the taxes are behind, which he'd said he'd paid. I let her know that I would think that due to his neglect of relaying this information to them, or his outright lie if he said everything was taken care of, would be grounds for contract termination. She was going to look into it. She gathered up her little ones and left the office.

Now, all of this doesn't really involve me. Aside from the current payment due on their utility bill. But, I feel bad, all the same. I feel bad that this young family has to deal with people who are less than honest or ethical. People that aren't willing to do their part. People that make is so much harder for others. People who create defeat for others who weren't aware they were playing some twisted game.

What can be done? As far as I can see, this couple should be able to get out of their contract. The owner should be liable for the damage. Will it happen? Will fairness win? My current outlook on humanity is pretty bleak, so I'm leaning towards no. But, maybe I'll be wrong. Maybe the wrongs will be righted. Maybe, just maybe, the right things will be done in each situation. C'mon humanity. Prove me wrong about you. Please.

Easing Back In...

I need a creative outlet. And my jewelry/candle/woodwork making efforts have been fruitless, thus far. I guess you would actually have to plant a seed, in order to bear fruit, but that's neither here nor there right now. So, back to writing it is. I know how to do it. I just don't ever take the time to do it. And, really, who's reading anyway?

As I now work from home a majority of the time, I rarely interact with people over the age of 3 or of the non-feline persuasion. Although that relationship is toxic and strained. She's an asshole, and she holds forth that the feeling is mutual. But, she needs me for food, so I hold the proverbial ace card (not trump card, because the very word gets my blood pressure up).

So, bottom line: I hope to at least put words to virtual paper quite a bit more than I have in the past few years. But, I'm not holding my breath. Nor should you. I'm an erratic writer at best, or possible just lazy. Whatever floats your boat.

Right now, I'm going to go float my boat with a glass of wine. It's 5 o' clock. It's North Dakota. To quote an old Budweiser tagline, it's what we do.

Later taters.

Rock-A-Bye

I don't know when the precise moment actually occurred. I'm not sure how I missed it. But, at some point in time, Sofia got too big for my lap. At one point, I could rock her in my chair, my arms around her, nose in her hair, breathing her in. Then, in a blink, we didn't both fit in the rocking chair anymore. In a heartbeat, our time was up.

 I know it probably happened around the time she stopped taking naps. I don't remember her exact age, but I remember a bit of relief when we decided to drop her naps completely, because it was always such a battle to get her to sleep. We would rock and rock for what seemed like forever. And then, when I thought she was finally out, I would lay her down, and she would immediately wake back up, ready to go. I would be so frustrated. At the time, all I could think about was all the stuff I would now not get done because she wouldn't nap. And, all the "wasted" time I spent trying to rock her to sleep, when I could have been doing much more "important" things. Like laundry or some other mundane task.

Wasted time. I cringe now as I remember it. What I wouldn't do to just get back one more time of rocking her. All the laundry that could have waited while I spent quiet moments with my beloved child. The child that looks like me, acts like me. The one I love more than the stars in the sky. Wasted time...how stupid I was.

 I think that's the reason, now, why I'm so insistent on rocking Jacob to sleep for his naps. Although, many times, he isn't wholly on board with me. He would sometimes rather just lie down on his own. But, the regret I have with Sofia comes bubbling to the surface, so I get my way, and we sit and rock. I had made myself a promise when he was born, that I would enjoy the quiet moments and not wish these times away. Because the moments are all too brief. They pass by over time all too quickly. So, for the past two and half years, when I'm able to, we sit and we rock. I wrap my arms around my baby boy, rest my chin on his head, and breathe him in. And, when he is finally out, I rock a few more minutes, soaking up the time and branding the memory into my mind. Many times it brings tears to my eyes (such as now) because it is so precious and fleeting.

 One day, all too soon, Jacob will be too big or too old or both, and he won't want to rock with his Mommy anymore. My lap and my arms will be empty. I hope it comes much later than sooner, but like everything else in time, it is inevitable. I know that. I hate it, but I know it.

 So, for now, I treasure my time with my child. I soak it in. I wrap him up with both arms as a gift to myself, because it truly is. I will hang on for as long as I can. And, when it is time to let go, I will. Perhaps, not all that willingly, but I will. But, I do have now. I have the present. And for that I am thankful. I will use our quiet time together wisely and lovingly. Because, in those moments, time with my child is never ever wasted time.

"Do You Feel Like We Do?"

On my way to work today “Do You Feel Like We Do?” came on the radio. Every time I hear that song, I’m transported back to my childhood. Well, in all honesty, there are a lot of songs that do that. In most cases, kids listen to the kind of music their parents were listening to as they were growing. Because of the area that we live in, more often than not, it’s country. And, that’s cool. But, for me, it was rock music. When I was growing up, I heard a lot of it. At a very high decibel. My dad had a room dedicated in my parents’ basement for his stereo equipment, the “Stereo Room”. A Marantz receiver was the control deck to the turntable, reel-to-reel, tape player, two 4-foot tall tower speakers (I don’t remember the wattage, but it was a huge number for the time), and two smaller speakers perched on the taller ones. I’m not joking when I say that you could feel the bass on the second floor. You could probably hear it from down the road, but I never tested the theory. It’s a wonder none of us kids are hearing impaired. Even with as much patience as my dad does not have, he was always willing to share music with us. As long as we didn’t “fart around down there”, he would spend hours spinning records and loading the reel-to-reel. I remember distinctly a couple of times when I was pretty young, I would be listening to some 80’s schlock on Y-94, and he would say, “Turn that shit off. I’ll go play you some good music.” And, he didn’t disappoint. My dad had a chair directly in front of the turntable, with his albums lined up underneath. And, he had some great ones. In this room, I first heard The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, The Doors, The Who, Pink Floyd, all the great classic rock. Of course, it was just plain old rock ‘n roll in those days. I loved those albums. I could look at them for hours. Way back in the stone age of the 60’s and 70’s, album covers were as much an art piece as the music they contained inside. My favorites were the Stones’ albums. Some Girls, with the cut-out faces, and Sticky Fingers, with the real zipper on the jeans, (my sister and I would giggle about the guy in his underwear on the inside). They’re collector’s items today. We should have treated them better. And he had the requisites for any music fan: Woodstock, the album, Frampton Comes Alive, the Beatles (White Album), and so many others. The smell of the vinyl as you removed the album from its sleeve, the static as the needle hits the groove, the crackle of the scratches from too many album plays, all memories that I treasure. Then, the SOUND as the first song would begin to play. Dad would crank the volume, and you were instantly surrounded by the music. Pure heaven. To this day, I like to play music as loud as I heard it when I was growing up. My husband and kids are less appreciative than I was, so I usually only play it that loud when I’m in my car, alone ( props to the Bose in my car. It takes the abuse I shell out to it every day like a champ). But, I might be doing something right too. My daughter’s favorite song is “Heartbreaker”, from Led Zeppelin. And, I love that. The tradition must carry on. Sadly, the stereo room no longer serves the purpose of wrecking ear drums anymore. It’s a storage space, now. The turntable and reel-to-reel haven’t had any tunes played on them in years. I’m not even sure where my dad’s albums are. But, I do have the memories. And, those I’ll keep with me forever. Over the years my dad has given me a lot of things, but one of his greatest gifts is a love of music. And, in the grand scheme of things, it’s the one I treasure the most. Thank you, Dad. Rock on.

While My Guitar Gently Weeps

It's one of my all-time favorite Beatles songs. I can't put into words the emotional effect the song has on me, but I'll leave it at this: it moves me.

About a year ago, I was reading Rolling Stone, and there was an article numbering the best moments of the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremonies. One the top ones was when Tom Petty, Jeff Lynne, Dhani Harrison and others covered "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" for the induction of George Harrison. What put this one to the top of the list was the guitar solo Prince performs during it.

I had to check this out since I've never really thought of Prince as a "guitarist". I was blown away, and all I could think was, "Holy Shit, the man can really play!".

So, since I just heard the original version of "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" on the radio, I thought I'd post this video.

You Can't Buy My Love

Since I've been listening to this cd too, I thought I'd post one of the songs from it. Actually, I've decided to post two videos, one being the official video and another being a live video.

Oh, Robert Plant. He's been described so many times and in so many ways, although "Golden God" seems to crop up the most. Although Jimmy Page is my favorite Led Zep alum (and my favorite musician overall, but that's neither here nor there right now), I do love Robert Plant's solo music. And, I really am enjoying his Band of Joy album. Anyone expecting Led Zeppelin might be in for a disappointment (much the same as his and Alison Krauss' Raising Sand from a couple of years ago). However, I love the muted beauty of the songs on the album. Some of them are kind of David Lynch-ie, and if you've seen his movies, you'll know what I mean. However, the whole album stands up as far as I'm concerned.

I saw him and Jimmy Page (swoon) in Fargo in the late 90's, but our seats were not great, and although I remember being at the concert and enjoying it, it doesn't stand out in my memory (I wasn't as into Zeppelin at the time as I am now; they were my boyfriend's band). Do I kick myself now for not paying more attention? You bet I do.

Anyhow in January, tickets went on sale for Robert Plant's show in the Cities in April. I hemmed and hawed about it for a couple of weeks trying to decide if I should go. After convincing myself I really needed to see him, and then convincing my husband of the same (he could care less), I decided to see what I could find for tickets, which turned out to be none. Sold out. Well almost, we could each still go but we wouldn't get to sit together. Not exactly ideal. Cue kicking myself again.

So, that's where I stand. I asked Lee if he would be willing to get tickets for the show at the Greek Theater in L.A., which would actually kill two birds with one stone, since I would love to see a show at the Greek. He declined however...unless we win the lottery in the very near future. I'm not going to hold my breath. So, for now I'll have to assuage myself with videos and pretend I'm there. A girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do.

Bereft of Inspiration

Winter leaves me so uninspired. Being trapped inside all of the time saps all my energy, creative and otherwise. And, living in a small town provides little in the way of entertainment, unless you like high school basketball (which I do) or going to the local bar (which really isn't feasible usually and not usually the best idea anyhow). So, I spend a lot of time at home when I'm not at work, watching t.v., reading, browsing the web. But, I'm beyond ready for winter to come to an end. I don't necessarily have cabin fever, just an itch for awakened plants, warm sunshine and fresh air. We got a small taste of it last week before Mother Nature came back from vacation and sourly ripped it away. Winter has returned, and it makes me none to happy. So I wait, impatiently, for above freezing temps to return and the blessing that is Spring.

To keep in touch with this blog more, I think what I may "try" to do is post a video of a song, that I've been listening to, every day (or more realistically, every few days). If you like it, great. If not, well, it's my blog. :) Of course, finding the video may prove to be more difficult than I anticipate. Oh well, I've got time on my hands.

Today's song: "Loving Cup" by the Rolling Stones from Exile on Main Street.