The Waiting is the Hardest Part

I am not a patient person. I never have been. I hate waiting on anything, people to return phone calls, answers to questions, someone to make up their mind, waiting for anything. I know in theory that patience is a virtue and all good things come to those who wait, but I am not able to abide by that philosophy. The anxiousness that takes over when I'm waiting on something that I want or need completely consumes me sometimes. I suppose that makes me childish in a way. But, then again, I've never claimed to be the most mature person I know. Quite the opposite. But, that's a different story.

I have gotten better over the years. When I was younger, my impatience was almost palpable. I would practically be bouncing off the walls if I was waiting on someone or something. As I've grown older, I've learned to keep myself in control. Well, that's a half-truth, at least now I make an attempt. There are times that I blow a proverbially gasket. I can only hold on for so long before something's gotta give. Sadly, easy frustration and a short temper accompany my limited patience. It's probably a psycho-analyst's perfect case study; an anger management trifecta.

It's a good thing, then, that I married my complete opposite in personality traits. My husband is the walking definition of calm. Nothing fazes him. He doesn't lose his cool very often. If he does I am usually the culprit. When I get worked up about something, I tend to drag whoever is around me into my emotional maelstrom. The nature of the beast, I suppose. But, conversely, he's been able to pass on some of his calmness to me. I've learned that it isn't the end of the world if something doesn't happen at the exact second that I want it to. Given enough time, things will get done. It's a mantra that I have to repeat often, but it's one I'm learning to accept.

Which is why I am (as much as I can) now patiently waiting for some books I ordered to arrive. I am doing quite well. I haven't called the company to find out where they are, why it's taken so long for them to arrive, why the delivery date keeps getting pushed back. I know they will show up eventually. But, that doesn't mean I don't check the delivery schedule every half hour or so to see if it's been updated. When I see that it hasn't, I resign myself and move on. But, their arrival will be in the front of my mind until I have them in my eager hands. *Sigh*

Baby steps. Rome wasn't built in a day...

I'm glad I wasn't around for that. I couldn't even begin to imagine.